This old adage came to mind today as I was sitting prepping my meditation space and watching the smoke from sage and Palo Santo.
Working at the moment and over time many women I have the privilege to journey with and realise and release their suppressed emotions especially anger and grief. I know this isn’t a gender specific yet it is sad to say often a human function of fear.
Many of us carry the patterns stories of not being allowed to express ourselves.
Females: that’s not attractive read it’s ugly to be angry. Good girls don’t …be quiet. Do as I say…
Males: don’t be a girl, boys don’t cry, to show emotions is a weakness. Etc etc
You get my drift those that know my writing have heard me say similar.
Yet, here we are 18 months on into a pandemic with mental health cases rising by the day and more remaining undiagnosed and still many refuse to access what is really going on. To admit the fear, the anxiety, the loss of liberty, loved ones, health. The anger of what is unfolding within counties with increasing powers for those ‘in power’ whilst the rest of us struggle to know what is truth, the veil of illusion cast wide and thick to ‘keep us safe’ is actually taking away many civil rights. And because of the fear…we don’t see it, or we would rather hand over full of responsibility to others and keep ‘safe for fear of what might be said or done.
The divide between friends, families, cultures, sexes widening as the chasm ever widens and deepens as we close the armoury around our hearts and withdraw from the world. We make others the enemy through fear.
Fear has a place. It is understandable may are frightened right now. We are given conflicting information. The primal need for safety rides high. Nervous systems are on high alert and this will take time to ease. Maybe for some it will never ease because we suppress the actuality of what has happened and what we are feeling.
No touch. No contact. No connection. These are human requirements for healthy survival.
All are further Instilling fear, I feel it as I walk down the street. People walking away, turning their backs. I feel alone. Isolated. Ostracised. Cast out.
To be cast out of the village you’d die. Simple. This is happening. We are slowly dying through lack of authenticity.
I recently spoke to someone who had a crisis some years ago and from there decided to live his life from his heart. This touched me so deeply not only because it was a man who was speaking this truth but also for his willingness to be human, vulnerable. Fallible.
I hear the call of heart.
The call for connection. I don’t mean jumping into bed with someone at the first moment…although this too might be the perfect medicine. What I’m referring to is a gentle awareness and honouring of what we are feeling. What we are yearning for. What are our basic human needs?
Yes: shelter, water, food. Primal needs met. To be human…Touch. Connection. Community.
We shrink and shrivel from being ourselves. From speaking up, from dancing our full dance in the world.
Yet…we want to be ‘wild and free’. The irony.
Anger has a place. It allows change. Assists us in getting out from the blanket of victim hood and into a place of sovereignty
Righteous rage and courage can dance beautifully together.
Grief is the gateway to joy. It honours what we have lost. It shows we care.
Love…a place of honouring. Listening. Tender affection.
Kindness and Compassion are so needed right now for us all including ourselves. Yes, that means you too! Fierce compassion has a place. Not letting ourselves off the hook in the kindest way. To also let ourselves off the hook in the kindest way.
We are on a wild ride of awakening. Of opening. Of seeing. Of loving. Of showing up in the world and for ourselves, communities and our beloveds.
If and when we allow it.
Emotions are simply energy in motion. Once we begin things shift.
Breath by breath.
Moment by moment.
One feeling at a time.
Reach out get some support. Speak your truth. Open our hearts. Be brave. Love deep and wide and true, always remembering to put yourself in pride of place.
For one thing I know to be true: Life is short. It holds sweetness in the moments of pain, it is our responsibility to show up, speak up and dance our dance from here magic can really happen. Things change we change as we embrace ourselves.
I am cheering you on from here.
In grace, with a wild heart.