You know I keep seeing and hearing of people getting so much ‘more creative’ or ‘finding their creativity’ through this time which is really beautiful and inspiring.
Yet, I myself have found myself to be creatively constipated… normally I would be eager to cook, create, write, dance but over the last months this creative flow has dried up to less than a trickle. Indeed, it’s more an arid desert in the middle of summer.
For me my creativity comes when I am alone after being busy. It’s my strength and relaxation. I use it as down time after being in connection with others. As these times see me and many of us alone more than ever I find my ‘usual’ resources and creative outlets less and even non inspiring.
I feel the ‘familiar’ tug of depression. A slow decline and decent Along the slippery darkness of the void into despair. A place I do not wish to return to.
The fact I can notice this in itself stimulates an urge to write it is something that is less than mundane. It’s a heightened sense of something other than ‘for fucks sake another week of no connection with a real person’!
I am fortunate to have incredible friends that I can see but so many of us do not. Even those living with others can be ina difficult spot. In different ways we are find ourselves in a lonely place. A dark place. A place of seeming no return. This does not have to be the case.
As I find myself immersed in another Netflix ‘bingeathon’ escaping the feelings of grief that claw at my heart from the non-knowing. The groundhog repetitive pain of daily innocuous routine that is lacking inspiration and ‘juice’ I am grateful to know that this can shift into something that wants to be expressed through word. Something wants to move….
You know, years of therapy (yes I still go regularly…) and a multitude of other things helps. Not everyone has this luxury or makes it a priority. For me, it’s my sanity. Literally. And yes, there is always another facet but things flow easier.
However these times see us not knowing much at all. As the world around us is in chaos how do we stand in the eye of the storm strong yet fluid, healthy, safe and sane?
We will indeed get knocked off centre as jobs, family, friends, relationships all shift and change. We can see this as an opportunity to grow or stay in a place of blame, self destructive behaviour and we can also navigate between the two before we find harmony
No one knows how to get through this. Or when it will end. How things will be, how we will be at the end. For sure ‘ain’t nothing going to be the same! For we will have grown if we allow it.
All we know is that one breath. One step. One push up and one small moment of creativity at a time.
So please, be gentle, be kind and when a moment of ‘illuminated juicy creativity’ shows itself. No matter how small. Don’t put it off. Take it’s invitation and see where it flows. For this I can guarantee and promise: It will shift. It will change and you will find another way through as the fire lit by this creative spark ignites something else. This may well be expressed rebound, grief or rage but it softens and moves the blocks so we can light a match in the dark and begin to find our way through.
You’ve got this.
I’ve got this.
We’ve got this
With love and a match of hope
Sarah Feb 14 2021